The other day we were at the doctors office and Darren was holding Wesley so he could look at the fish tank. I sat and watched him and something hit me like a ton of bricks. His big brown eyes were full of curiosity and wonder. They were full of innocence. It got me thinking about how all of us were once that small and once that innocent. Even the bad guys. Even the people who do a lot of wrong in the world were once somebody's baby.
We all start out so small and so full of light. I look at Wesley and the way he smiles at everyone. No matter what they look like, how old they are or even if they smell bad. He has a sincere joy and love for others.
Most people grow to be who they are according to how they are raised in their homes. How they are spoken to. What they see and hear and witness essentially shapes them as individuals.
Wes and I spend a good amount of time at target roaming the isles. Something about being a mom means that you go to target even though you don't buy anything half the time. Well, every single time I go I leave feeling awful because every single time I hear mothers yelling at their children. (sit down - be quiet - I'm going to smack you if you don't stop - shut up - or flat out ignoring the crying child) and this is just one example and not just at target, i witness it everywhere i go.
I haven't written about this before because I didn't want to seem 'judgy' or like I don't know the situation. Like, what do I know, I don't have a toddler yet. But if we don't talk about it, things don't change and the pattern continues. And I kind of do know the situation. I was brought up with eight siblings by a mom who raised us alone a lot if the time. I watched her and listened outside the door as she cried. I know it was so unbelievably hard for her a lot of days. I might not have years of experience yet as a mama, but I understand.
As I watched Wesley at the fish tank I thought of those mothers. How can they be so mean to a child they brought into the world? A child they nurtured and loved and grew in their tummy. They are obviously tired, unhappy, depressed, worn out, or doing what they have been taught. Maybe somewhere in their upbringing they were taught this was okay. I get it, but it doesn't make it okay.
So, I'm not writing this to say these mothers are awful. I'm mostly just wanting to encourage. And I also want you to know that people do see the way you treat your children. Please stop pushing your unhappiness onto your children. Stop treating them less than what they are worth. Stop taking their light and joy from them. You are responsible for the person they grow to be. The way they view people and relationships. You are responsible.
Look inward and find the source of your unhappiness. Change the pattern before it's too late. Start paying attention to your children. Weather they are crying, kicking, or just whining.. They are trying to get to you. I plead with you sincerely from the bottom of my heart.
I remember from a young age being well aware of my surroundings and the mood/tone in my home. children watch us and have real feelings. the way we speak to them and the words we say are so important because it sends a message. even with wesley, i know he can sense when i am frustrated or upset. Let your home be a safe haven where there is trust, joy, acceptance and most importantly let there be love.