thoughts of today

last night went a little something like this: wesley and darren went to sleep as i laid downstairs with a random headache. i eventually joined them and it took me forever to fall asleep. an hour or two later he woke up and then again at two am. he decided to not only be wide awake for the next couple hours smiling and talking, but also have a massive blowout on our sheets. around four he finally dozed off, but the wakings continued until morning as he grunted with stomach pains. when he woke up he was happy as usual, smiling and all. as i stared at him and thought about the crazy night we had just had he sneezed, not once, but three times in my face. and it was a wet one. you can probably guess what i did... i laughed. i laughed because being a mom is so unpredictable sometimes. and because things like being pooped or sneezed on are suddenly okay. i love him so much and there isn’t anything else i’d rather be doing with my life right now. not anything. just his smile fixes any bad night we’ve had, and for that i am grateful. i’m grateful to care for another human being everyday. i realize all that i do for him only means my heart has grown and continues to grow by leaps and bounds. 

*i apologize for the lack of writing lately, but i guess i’ve just been busy living. the past week or so my mind has been in a different place, but i’ll save those thoughts for another day.