three months old

the day we met, frozen i held my breath. right from the start i knew that i'd found the home for my heart.

it's a little surreal to say that i now have a three month old. sometimes it feels like this wonderful life of mine is just a dream. each day i have with this little soul i am reminded that god has trusted me with him and i try to make each moment count. my life isn't perfect, but i have so much to be grateful for. 

wesley you're such a little personality these days. you love to look at your reflection in the mirror, suck and drool on your hands, and kick your legs really fast when you're excited. when i sing to you now you get so excited, listen and bobble your head in response. you're communicating more by talking baby talk and squawking very loud when you want your voice heard. you are smart and already making me laugh even though you can't talk  yet. i love how you need your blanket close on your face when you sleep. you're pretty great. you go to bed earlier and sleep longer and most of all you love your mom and dad. you help me to see that people are good and life is beautiful. 

about a week ago i put away the tiny clothes that are now too small for you and bought size 2 diapers all in the same weekend. i was sad about it, but more than sad i am excited about your little self coming out. the next evening as i laid with you while you fell asleep you just stared at me along with many smiles. you held onto my eyes with yours and it was different from any other time. then you grabbed my finger with your hands and played with my hair. finally you cuddled your head in close and gently closed your heavy eyes. it was the first time i felt you were loving me back. sure you've smiled at me a million times and recognized me in the room, but this was the first time i felt like you were connecting with me on purpose. like you wanted to be with me because i comfort you. it's a hard feeling to explain and i didn't expect it. we connected at birth and bond everyday with nursing, but i didn't think of all these other moments we would have. how blessed i am to be able to have my heart burst open with love every single day for another human being. and i am so happy it's you. i'm so grateful for the bond we hold and look forward to more moments like these.

happy three months of life, my sweet baby.