the other day when lauren emailed me these photos, i cried as i looked through them. they take me back to that wonderful day and all of the things i felt... pain, joy, hard work and the highest amount of love i've ever experienced. love, not just for the baby coming to us, but for my wonderful husband as well. a lot of it feels like a blur because it all happened so fast, so i am eternally grateful to have these photos. to be able to have a physical memory of darren's face when he saw him for the first time is priceless. she showed up just in time and everything was as it was meant to be. they are so dear to my heart.
i won't go into the whole birth story because it is very long and detailed, but we labored for almost six hours at home and about six at the birth center. the 40 minute car ride was exciting, but intense with contractions less than 5 min apart. i took one contraction at a time and fell asleep in between. the moments i thought i could not do it any longer, my sweetheart helped me through it. ( i only pushed his face away with my hand once) his faith in me gave me the confidence in myself that i could do it. and of course god was there as well. its crazy to be going through something as intense as labor, feeling like you have nothing left to give and then there is god, lifting you up and giving you the strength to finish. i look back at how difficult it was and realize i couldn't have done it alone. i learned so much about my body, the power of my mind and positive thinking, my determination and what i am capable of with the help of my husband and god.
i didn't have the water birth i had planned, but i've never been disappointed about that. i actually didn't even think about it until much later which is surprising because that is the only thing i really really wanted. when it came down to it, squatting was the most uncomfortable for me and wesley. i was so focused on just getting him here safe that it didn't matter how. i am happy i pushed myself to do something that was hard and uncomfortable. it helped me grow as a person and the experience is irreplaceable. everything about that day was perfect. i am so grateful for this little being who has made me a mommy. he's made my life better in every possible way. i hope you enjoy his birth story through photos as much as i do.