The truth on being a Vivint wife

A lot of people ask me what exactly Darren and I do for the summer each year. Well, we pack up and move to a different state each summer for four months while our husbands work long hours, 6 days a week selling Alarm Systems door to door. It is very hard work and I am so proud of my man and our whole office for the work they do everyday. They deal with rude people slamming doors in their faces and have to walk around in the sun for hours without complaining-I couldn't do it! And I think a lot of people think it's a mini vacation when we move each year. It is very fun, but its also very hard and definitely not a vacation.

I'll be the first to admit I haven't always been the most positive and happy person out here. Even though my husband never complains and is always positive towards me. I feel terrible about that! There is a point in the middle of the summer {right now} where we are almost finished but not quite and it's hard to keep the end goal in mind. So many times I just want to give up and quit, but then I remember what a blessing it is financially for us to be out here.

I struggle sometimes {I think like a lot of other wives do} to be the perfect wife/person. I love Darren so much and want him to always admire me. I hate to admit it, but I see things that other people are experiencing and definitely play the comparison game. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be happy and supportive even when I am feeling so overwhelmed and discouraged. And I know there are so many women that go through so much more than what I am going through, but it's my personal battle everyday. I want to be that person who is strong through hard things and be positive no matter what life brings to me, but I find my self feeling this way ALL THE TIME. I think what I struggle with most in the summer is being alone too much and thinking too much. I feel like it changes reality a little bit and makes me feel like my situation is worse than it actually is. I hate when my mind plays games with me.

Yesterday I hung out with some of the other wives out here and afterward I just felt super grateful. I haven't really felt that in a while because I have been so negative and focusing on the bad. I really love those girls- we've had some really great times together. I am so grateful there are other women I can talk to and feel comforted by. I feel grateful people care about me and I really am not alone in this specific circumstance. This summer I have been working on myself a lot because I believe I can improve everyday to be that person I want to be. I went into the summer thinking it would be easy and I would change over night. And then life happened- my grandma died, I left the country, I miss my family, work has been beyond overwhelming... you know, usual life things. For some reason I have always just wanted my circumstances to change themselves without having to change myself. I don't know where I picked up that thought process but it is very hard to break and really annoying. I think I have realized this summer more than ever that I have to find things that I love to do and make me a better person and then fulfill that. For me that includes making things, meditation/prayer, scrap booking, skyping my family, sewing, expanding my cooking skills, going to the beach and taking pictures. I think the worst thing to do is compare lives with someone else or wish you were at a different spot in your life- all it does is cause unhappiness.

Sorry this ended up so long- probably a lot more than you wanted to know and more than I even intended to write. I have stopped reading a few blogs because I leave feeling like I can't relate to the author in anyway because their life seems so "perfect". I am a real person who goes through real life things just like everyone else. Even though I will share our happy fluffy life here, I don't want to put off the impression that we are perfect because we aren't. I want this blog to be real.

Have the happiest Thursday

*I borrowed the picture from Pinterest