Nearly eight days ago we brought another sweet soul into this world. Oh, is she sweet! With it all still being so new, I can't put into words the ways she's changed our world yet but I can say it's been the most beautiful experience so far.
Becoming a mother for the second time has knocked sense into me once again, opening my eyes to all of life's beautiful lessons. When Wesley came I suddenly saw so clearly what was important in life and was able to see all the places in which growth was necessary for me. For the first time I felt a desire to do and be better in every single aspect of my life. I needed to be better for him and I needed it for myself.
This time I've felt the same way, if not more. While I stare into my little girls eyes, getting to know her sweet spirit, I find myself reflecting often on what needs refining. What a sweet gift this is!
One thought that keeps coming to me over the last few weeks is the importance of being a happy mama. I feel that I am a good wife and mom. I'm not saying that to brag, just meaning to say that those are two things I strive to be my best at and feel that I am. I actually like to clean, do laundry and have a good healthy meal prepared when my husband gets home. I love to plan family outings and little traditions for us to enjoy together. And of course, I am always making sure Wesley's needs are being met. Has he read enough books today? Is he eating healthy? Does he need a fresh diap? Am I being affectionate enough? If I can answer yes, then I feel accomplished in my roles. But what about laughing with him? What about smiling at him every time our eyes meet? What about being silly and letting loose and having fun? Those are the things I want to experience with my children, but somehow always overlook the opportunity. I'm always concerned with the practical needs being met and don't realize i'm missing the best part.
I don't want to be the mom who sits on the sidelines or the one who takes things too seriously. I want to be a mama that can make mistakes and laugh it off. I want to experience moments with my children spontaneously, living in the present moment. I want to be able to look the chaos of bringing a newborn home to a toddler that isn't emotionally ready in the face and be able to laugh with my husband about it because really, it'll be OK. But mostly I just want them to know that I am happy. And in order for them to know that, they need to see it. They need to see me genuinely smiling and laughing through the beautiful and messy parts of life. Ultimately being the one guiding our family to find the joy in it all.
So to both of my children, thank you. Thank you for helping me to recognize what is truly important. Thank you for pushing me to realize that I have so much to improve on and loving me during the process. I am more grateful for these lessons than you'll ever understand. I hope when you look at me you will always see light and happiness. From now on we will have more fun, I will laugh along with you, be more easy going and show you how much joy I feel in our days. Our home will be a safe haven and a place where "happy" resides. We will be as carefree as we wish to be, wrapped in each other, soaking up the beauty of this life together. I promise.
I am wearing Ivy in the color Maple and it can be found here. And a huge thank you to my husband for taking these photos. Wesley loves to feed us veggies from the garden and I normally tell him I don't want any (raw carrots are not a favorite of mine) but decided to play along this time. We laughed so hard and it was a really fun moment between us, which only seemed perfect for todays post.