Those final days before Wes came feels like yesterday. We spent our last evenings together as just husband and wife, outdoors and in nature as we waited for our baby and I will probably remember the way that felt forever. As excited as I was to meet him, I am so grateful for those intentional memories we made as a couple before we became parents. A few hours before I went into labor, I sat at the lake and read affirmations to myself while Darren fished. There was a breeze as the sun went down and I remember feeling extremely peaceful. I was so ready to give everything to God and trust in what He had in store.
To my surprise, the second time isn't any different. Even with a toddler to tend to, I feel as if these days are moving in slow motion, like time is standing still. We've been going about our normal routine, building forts all day long with a puzzle or book in between, just enjoying our togetherness and the friendship we share. Each kiss and cuddle and request to be rocked to sleep is being fully soaked up and I find myself mourning our current life a little bit as it's all about to change. But I suppose that's only because I don't fully understand how truly beautiful of a change it's all going to be. All I know is now and my now is so incredibly perfect with my baby boy. I took these photos one late afternoon a couple of days ago to remember this moment in time and I cherish each one.
As far as the amazing life inside of me goes, I feel her little spirit so close to me throughout my days. This time is so special. Waiting for my babies has been a heavenly experience, one that I cherish and something I always want to recognize as a blessing. This time period of being so close to meeting your little one is out of this world extraordinary, in my opinion, one that I hope every women gets to experience in their lifetime.
One of the things that has helped me in both my pregnancies for an unmedicated, natural birth is to let go of my own expectations and wishes of when they will come. It can be so easy to feel "done" at this point and I have certainly found myself wishing she could be in my arms already. I am so anxious and excited to meet her but at the same time, it is not my decision of when she is ready. So, I am focusing on living each day normally and fully present. One day last week I went about the house nesting (or just cleaning my really really messy house) and getting everything ready and kept having the thought that maybe she'd come that night. We laid in bed talking about what would change and how different it will be as parents of two, laughing about how we're going to accomplish it. Obviously she didn't come, but I woke up the next morning feeling completely fine and have ever since. I just feel gratitude for another day with Wesley and find comfort in the fact that she will arrive soon. I feel ready and at peace with whatever is about to take place and feel so grateful for that.